SEGMENT 1

Host: Welcome to What’s Your Price? The game where we talk to ordinary people on the street and ask them how much cold, hard cash it’ll take to make them do craaaaazy things.

Host: Here’s our first contestant. Ma’am. Ma’am! Could I talk to you for a second? What’s your name, ma’am?
Helen: Umm, it’s Helen. What is this?
Host: It’s a game show, ma’am. We’re trying to find out what you, Helen, would do for, say, $20?
Helen: (laughs) Oh, I don’t know. Not much!
Host: Would you become a “woman of the dust”?
Helen: Woman of the dust?
Host: You know, abandon your possessions, fall down in the dirt, roll around in it, heap dust in your mouth, in your hair. What about… twenty American dollars!
Helen: No way!
Host: How about $30?
Helen: You’re kidding!
Host: $40?

Helen’s uncomfortable smile collapses like a ruined arch. She looks down at the dirt, then, after a minute, looks up at the host with a sort of deep sadness in her eyes. The host holds out two $20 bills. We see his arm stretched out in front of the camera, foreshortened somewhat by perspective, and two images of Andrew Jackson gazing off into the distance. Helen reaches out, lingers momentarily, takes the money.

SEGMENT 2

Host: Uh oh! Looks like we’ve got another couple of contestants! Want to play our game?
Mitch: Hey, you’re the What’s Your Price guy!
Todd: Awesome! Your show kicks ass!
Host: Ha ha! I don’t think you can say that on the air!
Todd: Oh, sorry!
Host: Todd, you and Mitch are friends, is that right? Well, would a friend punch his other friend-right in the throat-for thirty dollars?
Todd: No way! $50!
Host: Fifty dollars? That’s a lot of money. Let’s see how much we’ve got here. (begins to count out bills) $10… $20…
Mitch: I’ll do it for $30.
Host: What’s this?
Todd: What the hell, man?
Mitch: I… I need the money. Sorry man. You know I tried hard, man, but I couldn’t.. I just couldn’t kick the habit. I’m in real bad shape. How hard do I have to punch him?
Host: As hard as you can!
Mitch: Ok, ok.. Sorry, Todd. Hey.. how.. how do you—Todd: I’ll do it for $20!
Mitch:—know our names?

SEGMENT 3

Host: What’s your name, little girl?
Chloe: (bashful) Chloe.
Host: Is this your mommy? Hello, mommy.
Mommy: Hello. What’s going on? What’s the camera for?
Host: You’re on TV, ma’am. Live! We’re asking regular people what they would do to win a lot of money. You like money?
Mommy: When I can get it! (laughs)
Host: Well, I can help with that! How about $50?
Mommy: What do I have to do? Eat a worm?
Host: Nope. Just take the money and walk away.
Mommy: Ok!
Host: And leave the girl. With me.
Mommy: I’m not selling my daughter on a television show for $15!
Host: I said $50, not $15. What if I turn the camera off?
Mommy: (crying) Turn the camera off!
Host: The camera’s off! See?

The camera stays on, but the camera man lowers it to his waist, tilting it up so that the audience can still see what’s going on. The camera wobbles back and forth, unstabilized.

Mommy, crying, leans down to stroke Chloe’s hair. Chloe, not understanding what is happening, stands on tip-toe to kiss her mother on the cheek. The host takes two twenties and a ten from his wallet, folds it neatly, and puts it in Mommy’s hand, closing her fingers around it. Sobbing, she turns away, and the host takes Chloe’s tiny hand, leads her off.

SEGMENT 4

We see a man run out of an alley, glass crunching under his feet. Behind him, orange light flickers on the brick walls of an apartment building. He is holding a red plastic gasoline can, one gallon size, with a white, articulated hose dangling from the front.

Man: Oh my god, I did it. I can’t believe it.
Host: You just earned yourself forty dollars, my friend! How does it feel?
Man: Not bad! What do I do with this gas can?
Host: You could throw it in that dumpster… or, you could keep it.
Man: What is your name, by the way?
Host: You can call me anything you like. Here’s your money. $10…$20…$30…$40 dollars, cold hard cash!
Man: Thanks! Say…
Host: Don’t spend it all in one place!
Man: Do you think…
Host: Hmm?
Man: You’re filming another show tomorrow, right?
Host: Yes we are. You want to earn some more money?
Man: Well.. I could use another $40.
Host: Oh no! I’m afraid tomorrow, the going rate will be only $30.
Man: Oh… Ok. Ok.
Host: Then I’ll see you here tomorrow! (turns to the camera) And I’ll see you all here tomorrow, same time, same place, on the show where we ask real people “What’s Your Price?”