The reason I haven’t been updating frequently is that I’ve been busy developing a new educational software package for children. I love children.

It’s been hard work, because I wanted to make something that did more than just teach kids things, and more than just amuse them for a few minutes every day. And I certainly didn’t want to “preach” at them, and tell them how to live their lives.

The software I’ve come up with is called Monsters Are Everywhere!, and it’s basically a problem-solving game that shows kids, hopefully in a fun and meaningful way, how to think outside the box, and also makes them afraid of ordinary things and situations.

The game works like this: Kids will see a scene on their computer monitor—maybe it’s a picture of a classroom, or a baseball game, or the basement—and then they’ll be given “clues” in the form of a little poem with hints on where the monster is. Then they’ll have to use their mouse to click on where they think the monster is hiding.

Here are some examples of what the clues look like.

Glug glug!
It sure is wet down here
I can hear you splashing with your toys
Your mother just closed the door
You’re all alone—
—Except for me, that is!

And in this case, the monster is hiding in the bath tub. If the child clicked the water in the bathtub, he or she would see an animation of a monster rising up and attacking them.

Open up and say “ahh”!
Know why people at the hospital
Are always sick or hurted?
Because that’s where I live!

In this case, the child would be correct in clicking the picture of the smiling doctor with the stethoscope and clipboard, who would then shed his skin and reveal that he was actually a monster in disguise.

I’m right underneath you
Every time you go to sleep
Can you hear me breathing?
Make sure your feet don’t go over
The side of the bed
Or I’ll gobble them up
Please get up to go to the bathroom…
I’m so very hungry!

In this scene, the monster is hiding under the child’s bed.

Obviously, this is just a small sample of the total number of games included in the software. In total, I’ve programmed hundreds of scenes, encompassing the most common situations a child will face in his or her life. What I want is for a child to be able to find at least one thing every day that reminds them of the game. Already, many parents have written to tell me that my system has had a huge impact on their child’s life.

Scientists have proven that reasoning skills are crucial to a child’s early development. That’s why my system teaches children deductive reasoning skills, how to analyze information, and how to cultivate a constant sense of imminent horror.

So, isn’t it time you looked your 4-6 year old straight in the eyes and said, “Monsters Are Everywhere!”