It started when Johnny Boots, the man with magical boots, broke away from the Power Gang and joined with Skeledon from the Boston Bonesmen and an intergalactic alien missionary named The Parson to form a group they called The Justice Gang.

Then Skeledon’s skeleton powers failed him during a battle with The Iron Maiden and he came under her thrall. During this time he was involved in many criminal deeds as part of The Iron Maiden’s army of super-powered mind slaves, including the infamous theft of the president’s memory and subsequent high-stakes auction, the winner of which was an anonymous caller with seemingly limitless funds and a penchant for state secrets.

Meanwhile The Justice Gang had filled the void in its ranks by recruiting Chainsaw Octopus and Smokestack: The Human Furnace. Unfortunately, they recruited these masked heroes from the now somewhat understaffed Power Gang, causing a severe logistical problem when Power Gang headquarters was attacked by Dr. Dinosaur from Mexico’s highly underrated supervillian gang El Cabal, The Sad Hatter, a former freelancer out of Washington, D.C., Herostratus, Dapper Dan, and Robo Hobo from The Original Teen Hellions, and Johnny Boots’ evil twin (newly-escaped from his prison in the Haunted Nebula).

The Power Gang barely escaped being destroyed in the attack, and afterwards the group effectively dissolved, breaking into numerous splinter groups including the Fraternity of Heroes, The Savant Guardians, the Power Couple, and The Skeledon Crew (a short-lived group composed of Skeledon’s brother Nate and his girlfriend Amy).

Meanwhile, the former leader of the Power Gang, Captain Rapier, changed his name to The Fencer after being threatened with a lawsuit by women’s groups who had misread his name. Sadly, this plan backfired when police accidentally confused him with The Fence, an infamous stolen goods smuggler, and arrested him at his home in Los Angeles. He sank into a very deep depression that resulted in repeated suicide attempts.

Soon, the Iron Maiden fell in love with Skeledon and in a fit of passion took him to bed, losing her maidenhood and thus her ability to transform into iron. Her powers lost, Iron Maiden was no longer able to maintain her mind-control spell over Skeledon and the other super-slaves, and they escaped, eventually forming a group known as The Justice Corps, which Saturday Night Live parodied as “The Justice Corpse”.

After rescuing Nicole Kidman from being flushed out of an airlock on Professor Checkmate’s orbital space station, The Justice Corps became one of the most popular superhero groups in the world, a title previously monopolized by the similarly-named The Justice Gang.

Perhaps feeling their position at the top of the charts threatened, Justice Gang leader Johnny Boots filed a trademark lawsuit against his former team mate Skeledon, claiming that The Justice Corps was infringing on its well-known brand name. Johnny Boots lost the lawsuit, and was driven mad by the verdict—mad enough to join with his evil twin from the Haunted Nebula and hatch a plan to turn the UN Security Council into bags of rock candy.

In order to foil this plan, the U.S. government has drafted The Justice Corps and given them access to the technologies developed in Project Patriot, a top-secret Pentagon experiment charged with maintaining U.S. military superiority via fusion-powered robot battle suits.

That brings us up to date. With these new weapons, the government believes that The Justice Corps can free the trapped Security Council members in time to save the world.

Fools. They think their plan infallible. They think they are the only ones who know the secrets of Project Patriot, but they forget that there is no secret that money cannot buy.

That’s right: it is I, Dr. Constantine, the mysterious bidder in Iron Maiden’s auction, with pockets deep enough to steal the knowledge of Project Patriot right from the president’s own memory, including the hidden weakness that will allow my carefully-laid plans to succeed. Oh, I have waited years for this, always in the background, biding my time, planning for every contingency.

And do you think that you, a pathetic, washed-up old man, the laughing stock of the superhero community, can stop me? I suppose you’re trying to restore your honor. Oh, how noble! You, who couldn’t even succeed in killing yourself!

No, no.. put down that silly rapier, you’re nothing but a has-been, Captain! Do you hear me? A has-been!