I was thinking that Eugene Ionesco’s absurdist play Rhinoceros could be made into a good rock opera. Apparently I was wrong. Here is the last scene of my failed attempt at rock and roll history:

RHINOCEROCKS
Libretto by Adam

ACT III SCENE 4

Berenger is sitting on the bed, strumming his guitar unhappiily. Jean bursts into the room.

Jean: Have you heard the word?
Berenger: What?
Jean: The thundering herd—Berenger: What?!
Jean: Is the herd that’s preferred!

Berenger: That’s absurd!

Jean:
If you knew what I know
You’d go be a rhino
How can you deny its appeal?
Trade clothes and pride
For hooves and hide
Get a horn thrown into the deal!
You must concede
They are regal indeed
Like a stately gray automobile
If you think on your own
You are always alone
To be part of the crowd is ideal

Berenger:
I cannot desist, I must always resist
A man must exist for a cause
Commit any treason, at least within reason
Uphold the most sacred of laws

Jean: Submit!
Berenger: Eat shit!

Jean turns away from the audience and begins to shake all over. When he turns back he has a small proto-horn where his nose used to be

Jean:
I can feel it beginning
My hair is thinning
I’m no longer speaking my mind
My head is lower
My pace is slower
Farewell and adieu to mankind!

Jean, nearly transformed, barely squeezes through the doorway. We hear his voice, now sounding like an almost unintelligible bleat

Well, well, well!
Isn’t it swell?
Isn’t it great?
I’m an ungulate!

Berenger, despairing, throws himself onto the floor. In his darkest moment, he sees his electric guitar. He picks it up and plugs it into an amp, plays a deafening power chord of rebellion.

Berenger:
Am I the only one left?
Am I the only one right?
I must not go softly into the night
Carry on
Or carried off
I’ll put up a hell of a fight

The sound of hoofbeats is approaching. They are coming for him. The door to the apartment begins to splinter, a horn protrudes through the wood. He shrugs.

It isn’t really that bad
Not just some passing fad
It makes no sense to belittle it
Perhaps I’ll give up some ground
And go stomping around
And be a rhinoceros—Just a little bit!

Cue smoke effects and laser lights. The stage is filled with rhinoceri, some dancing, some playing musical instruments. A rhinoceros that looks like Daisy is dancing with one that looks like the Logician. A rhinoceros that looks like Jean is playing the drums. Another is banging on the keyboard with three oversized toes. A rhinoceros that looks like Berenger is right up front, playing lead guitar.