This was the second day after the pirate ship had been attacked by other, less honorable pirates who had only a small amount of treasure. The battle had been fierce, and though hopelessly outnumbered, the captain’s men had fought with the courage of saints, and none more courageously than the captain himself.

Somehow they had won the day, but the captain was gravely injured, and he lay still as a stone in his chamber as the doctor tended to him. The ship, splintered with fire and ball, drifted in a calm sea as the pirates worked to keep it afloat.

As they worked, some of the pirates talked amongst themselves, which is a common practice among men at sea.

“I heard tell as the captain killed square thirty men yesterday, and quite of few of those with his own bare knuckles.”
“Twas forty, if I am any mother’s son!”
“The captain strangled four men at the same time, and I wouldn’t believe it except that I saw it with me own eyes.”
“Now how do you suppose he would do something like that?”
“Tis quite plain, he—”
“Wait a minute, forty men did ye say?”
”—grabbed one in his right hand, tight as vice of iron—”
“Aye, forty men. Like a dervish he was, raging across the deck, a fire lighted in his eyes.”
“Have ye noticed, the captain has been acting a bit queerly?”
“Aye, he has been moody and erratic.”
”—an’ he grabbed one in his left hand, like a hangman’s noose, and the poor lad cried for mercy, but he could not speak, for lack of—”
“And have ye lads noticed the captain has not been sleeping soundly of late?”
“Aye, late one night as I was on the dog’s watch, who should I see but the captain, pacing the deck like a spectre, and he were all shivering about his person.”
“This is hard news, boys!”
“Why, what does it mean? Is something wrong with the captain?”
“I’m afraid so, lad. It all adds up: the violent frenzies, the mood swings, the sleeplessness, the shakes. I believe our captain has fallen victim to a common vice that has claimed the body of many a man far from his home.”
”—and the third villain’s throat was crushed by the captain’s teeth, for the captain, like a hound, would not let go his prey until—”
“We must go and tell the doctor.. perhaps there is still time!”
“No, no, it’s too late for him now, lad. He’s too far gone down that road. There’s only one thing left for him.”
“What is that?”
”—the fourth man was strangled in a way that should not even be spoken of outside of certain houses of ill repute in far-distant ports of call.”
“Yes, tell us what must be done for the captain!”

The pirate who had diagnosed the captain set his hammer down on a plank of wood. He wiped the sweat off his brow and drank from a flask of rum he had hidden away.

“We must burn him alive and seal his sarcophagus with molten lead, then we must drop it into the deepest part of the ocean and cast salt upon the water. Then, and only then will we be free from his terrible curse!”

And so the pirates dashed to the captain’s chamber and broke down the door, and did these things that have been listed to their captain, for those were the days of superstition, when methamphetamine abusers were often misdiagnosed as mummies, and many pirates died who only needed a little help to get back on their feet again.